Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Time Warp
I touched upon this subject at the end of the PTSD & Cancer blog. Reading other blogs I feel these cancer patients are facing the same thing. What I am trying to say is that you get diagnosed and you are thrown into another world obviously. After coming home from the hospital I felt I had to go through the shock again. Being home with this new reality was another process of acceptance. The home nurse, the lines my husband had to flush with saline every night. I remember his tears dropping on my arm near my pic line. I came home to a new season, and was bald and sickly! Each treatment phase moved so fast that my brain had a hard time keeping up. Glenn will say, it's been 2 1/2 years and I just scoff, it's like it was yesterday to me. When treatment ended and the kids were feeling secure about me, that is when I looked back and began processing this experience. My husband and I had a conversation about the night of diagnosis and what we went through, who said what to who, that was a year after the fact. So all in all I am in some sort of time warp, but I know I will catch up soon.
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10 comments:
Thanks for sharing your blog, I found it through a link on FaceBook. I had a stem cell transplant 10 months ago and I am doing well, but frustrated with the lack of energy. It's good to know that this is 'normal'.
God Bless you on your journey!
Sue Van Ess
I can relate to everything you speak of. I am a Non Hodgkins survivor. I finished my chemo and in April. It all seems like a blur and I'm hoping I never have to deal with it again. Keep up the positive attitude and enjoy life oneday at a time!
John Maisonville
I was linked to your blog by the LLS. It is very interesting to me as I am also a survivor of AML. I was diagnosed 5 years ago at the age of 48. My treatment path was an autologous stem cell transplant.
I understand fully your comments about how after diagnosis everything changes.
Recovery from the chemo was slow for me. It was 3 years until I could run a step. In the past two years I have come back to much closer to normal. I rode a 100 mile bike ride with the LLS' Team-In-Training in September and raised $3000 for cancer research.
HI! What an inspiration you are. I was diagnosed with a rare type of Lymphoma (PML) on 05/31/10. I myself have three kids. They are 13,10,and 2. I am sure you know the shock I was in. I was not quite 38 at the time. I can not wait to hear the word remission. I just know that I will one day hear that word from my doctor.
Did you use Dana Farber becaue you live nearby or because of its reputation?
GOD BLESS YOU!!!
Thank you for this blog,
Your courage, hope and faith. My husband has AML, waiting for stemcell transplant. So glad that your birthday for 2 1/2 years. I am reaching out. He's had AML for 8 months. Yes we are scared to death about the stemcell- We have a donor, it was set for Dec-2 2010, he fell out of remission. So back at square one. Counts are looking good. Chemo is working. Just waiting to here the go ahead- I am so glad for you.
Cindy
Sue,
Thank you for your comment, the lack of energy is very hard to deal with, God Bless you, keep up the good work.
Michele
John,
Thank you for your comments, I am so glad to hear from a survivor.
congratulations,
Michele
Jim,
Thank you for your comment, WOW what an inspiration you are! Three steps to 100 miles. That money, in turn pays for research that saves lives.
Great Job,
Michele
Amy,
Keep your hopes high, you will hear those words!!! I went to Dana-Farber bc my local hemotologist recommended them. I am so glad he did bc the facility is top notch, I think their knowledge and care gave me such a good outcome.
God Bless You,
Michele
Cindy,
Thank you for reaching out, it all is so scary. Chemo is working and you have a donor, that is great. Stay strong, if you ever want to email me I would be glad to reply.
You are both in my prayers,
Michele
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